I’m still alive. I’ve just been working on the screenplay and actually writing a couple of songs (goddamn I’m talented). The songs are what took up my time yesterday.
Separation Anxiety (Fire and Gasoline)
Time Apart can make the Heart grow Fonder
I worry though, that your love may start to Wander
Seeing new places, Many new Faces
Men much better than I
I trust you to stay true
But I worry what your heart might find
You’re so far away from me
Parted by a frightening sea
I trust you please believe
It’s just separation anxiety
I call you everyday, you do not answer
To none of my texts will you reply
I miss your singing and you always were a good dancer
I miss hearing and seeing you at night
You came back with a new man, you didn’t warn me
I put faith in you, you left me out to dry
I was wrong when I called you the woman of my dreams
My heart’s been ripped out and been lit on fire
And now I’m a memory
And I’m taking a back seat
To the new man of your dreams
We just weren’t meant to be
How is he better than me?
I was right to worry
That backstabber wasn’t trustworthy
I’ll cry for a bit
Then I’ll get over it
I’ll hit the town with all my friends
I’ll pretend it never happened
I’ll do the same thing that the backstabber did to me
I’ll find some exotic girl bring her back from overseas
but first I’ll go to your house and get my things back
I’ll lace it with gas, wait ‘til you back, and then I’ll drop the Match!
She’ll be a memory
Literally dead to me
Fire and gasoline
Killing the woman who ruined me
She’ll get what she deserved
Revenge flaming hot when it’s served
I’ll never get caught, She’ll die red-hot
And I’ll Be Free!
I had the idea for this song a couple of years ago and have slowly developed the lyrics. I haven’t really been able to put the lyrics to music yet. I have an idea of a tune in my head, but it isn’t really translating to the piano yet (it doesn’t help that I imagine an entire orchestra playing during the bridge building up to the final refrain). It is a dark song, I do admit. It not so subtly tells the story of a man placing faith in his girlfriend while she travels abroad. They slowly lose contact and drift apart, but the man still holds on to the relationship. When she returns, she has a new boyfriend. This drives the man crazy and he sets fire to her apartment (while she is in it).
The second song I have been working on is very similar to the first thematically. It starts with a seemingly perfect love that turns into resentment.
You’re leaving a place where everyone knows your name
For a place where they only care about your face
Leaving these starry nights for the bright neon lights
I can’t help but think it’s a mistake
It’s not as glamorous as it seems
On TV, in magazines, or in your wildest dreams
Do you want to be a nobody in a town where everybody’s a somebody?
You should just stay here with me
But If you’re leaving don’t worry because I’ll be fine
If I’m not the one for you, I won’t waste your time
Just make sure that whatever you find
Is better than what you left behind
It’s been a few months, how’s the big city treating you?
I’m sorry you’re lonely but there’s nothing I can do
Does the city make you rejoice or did you make the wrong choice?
Regret is a difficult feeling to soothe
I’m writing this letter through eyes filled with tears
Because you’re far away and you used to be here
I tried to convince you to stay, but you never listened to me anyways
You put our love behind your career
You didn’t listen all of those times
I told you not to leave, and now I’m alone at night
Did our love not mean a thing to you?
Was it just a fling until you found somebody new?
I hope you know that you meant the world to me
And you threw me away for fame and some money
How did I ever think of you as anything more
than a greedy bitch, a no-good money grabbing whore
My goddess that I used to worship, my love to you was devout
You threw me away for a marquee with your name, you’re a sellout
I’m burning this letter as soon as my writing’s through
And as the letter burns so will my memory of you
I was so stupid giving you years of my life
I’m moving on, you’ve wasted enough of my life
A better girl who’s true and kind shouldn’t be too hard to find
I’m leaving the ghost of you behind
You probably think that I don’t believe in love at this point and that I think that all love ends in anger. I swear I don’t, I just haven’t actually experienced real love for a woman (with the lone exceptions being Emily Blunt and Rose Byrne. I would wife them in a second). I have been able to get a good melody and chord progression to accompany this second song. I am working on a rough “demo” on Garageband. I have a few other songs in mind. I’ve actually begun work on two: one is a song about finding the love of your life despite of all of the “common whores crawling around on the dance floor.” Another one is really cheesy but it is about the sound of an A Minor chord (my favorite chord; three white keys that create a hauntingly beautiful sound). Let me know what you think of these lyrics and give me any feedback.