The first post. This is my only chance at leaving a good first impression. But what impression should I leave?
Should it be formal?
Salutations esteemed readers,
Yo, what up bitches
No. Too misogynistic.
I’m struggling with this first post. I’ve been thinking about it all day. I’ve decided that the first post should set the premise of the blog, similar to what a pilot episode does fit a television series (hence the title of the post, Pilot).
I think the best way to explain the premise of my blog is to say that there really is no premise at all. This blog it’s meant to be an exercise in writing for me. Posts will have a wide range of different forms: short stories, journal entries, and if I’m feeling brave I might even try some poetry (yikes).
Before I get into all of that, I should start by giving you a lesson on my favorite subject. Me.
My name is Devon. I won’t say my last name because if my friends found this blog, I’d never live it down. I am 16 years old. I have 3 younger brothers. I’m from a small town in Minnesota, population around 1,300. I get good grades in school. I am also very busy with extracurricular activities: basketball, baseball, choir, and concert band. (If any of my friends are reading this and starting to connect the dots, just know that if you tell anyone, I will have to leave the state). This is clearly a truncated version of who I am, but as time goes on more details of my life will emerge. And, due to the fact that my name is androgynous, I should probably state that I am male.
I am about to start my Junior year of high school. This is a very important time. It’s the last full year of grades that colleges will look at. It’s the year in which students takes standardized test after standardized test, with the SAT or ACT (depending on where you live) coming at the end of the school year. With school beginning on September 8th, the thought of being labelled a Junior is quite daunting. Soon, I will have to brace the hardest classes I’ve ever had to take: AP U.S. History, Honors English, Physics, and College Algebra. Will I pass? Yes. I’ll be able to pass the classes without trying. But I won’t get an A. I’ve skated through the first 11 years of my education without paying attention in class or doing homework until right before class. I’ll have to work extra hard, because this year will shape the rest of my life.
However, what the rest of my life will be like hasn’t been decided. I have a passion for writing. I really love it. I have wanted to be a writer for my whole life. However, last year I began to worry about the amount of money I could make as a writer. Is it realistic to see my name on the best-seller list? Not yet, at least. And because it’s my goal to drive around in an Audi R8 when I am older, I began to weigh other career options. Lawyer seems to be another thing that I’ve been leaning towards. A hard job that requires a lot of probably solving and also involves a lot of writing. Not the writing I love doing, but writing none the less. But even though being a lawyer seems great, being a writer is still my dream. And if I can get to the point where I think I’m good enough to make it as a writer, screw being a lawyer. I’ll go on and write best-selling novels and hit movies and award-winning TV shows.
The reason that I have decided to start this blog is because of an article I read. It was written by a writer, whose name I don’t recall, and it gave some tips for becoming a writer. One of his main tips was to write every day. In his opinion, the best way to write every day is to keep a blog. I’m not doing this so that I can gain an audience (even though that would be nice), I’m doing this to become a better writer. Do I expect anyone to read this blog? Not really. Maybe a few people. But I figure if I do this now and hone my writing skills.
And now a little about my style of writing. I like to think that I am a very funny person, so I’m hoping that you will find my writing to be witty and humorous. I’m also not afraid to be controversial in my comedy, even if it may offend. The way I see it is that everything I say is going to be considered offensive by someone or another so I’m just going to say whatever comes to mind. Besides, you don’t even know my full name. Good luck finding me if I say something that really pisses you off (I wonder how many people stopped reading after I said “What up bitches?”). I think my knack for controversial humor comes from my love of TV shows like South Park and It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia (do I italicize TV show names? Or underline? I guess I don’t really give shit). I also like some controversial musicians, such as Kanye West (I don’t care what the haters say about his ego. Praise Yeesus).
In closing, I hope that people find what I write. I really do. I would love feedback from other people. Encourage me. Criticize me. I really don’t give a shit what you say about my writing because I’m not a professional writer. I’m just a kid with some big dreams. But if you stuck with this whole post, props to you. I hope you didn’t regret it.
Sincerely and Respectfully yours, Catch ya on tha filp side, homie,
Thanks for reading my thoughts. It means a lot.